Since I get to bitch and you don’t, you’ll either agree with my bitching and join my various causes against stupidity everywhere, or you’ll hate my rants so much that you will get the general public to stop being complete morons so I don’t have anything more to bitch about. Pick your poison, I really don’t care so long as you Listen To Me Bitch.

Now with that out of the way…

One thing that has been prominently pissing me off lately is the general disrespect for English words in their entirety. To my dismay, some people find it necessary to bring abbreviations and/or internet slang into normal, face to face conversation wherever possible. Just this week I have heard sentences such as:

• Totes yo that was a seds pross, nevs again.

(Translated: That was totally a serious process that I would never like to experience again.)

• Don’t hate cause I like hella abbrevs, lolz 

(Translated: Don’t make fun of me because I like to sound like a complete moron for no good reason, (and then proceed to pronounce “lolz”))

Are you so incredibly lazy that you can’t even speak complete words and sentences? If so, I hereby take away your right to bitch about Latin American immigrants coming in and not speaking English. I know enough Spanish to realize that they are speaking using more complete sentences than you are. I also know enough Spanish to understand complete Spanish sentences more than I understand your jibberish in English, if you can call it English.

AIM speak was pushing it, I’m still someone who types out every single word and will attempt to use complete sentences where they may be deemed necessary online. I like to come off as professional (read: better than you) and build good typing habits so I don’t randomly put “u” instead of “you” in a paper I’m writing. The bonus of that is when I’m proofreading something I’ve written, I don’t have to worry about such annoyances and I can focus on the big picture, unlike your dumb ass.

Some people have neither the patience nor the word per minute capacity to communicate like this over an electronic medium. Therefore, a shorthand system evolved of its own nature. Good for you, keep it within the IM window. I don’t want to hear words sounds like “lol” verbally uttered seriously, you’re not cool, you’re not “hip and/or “with it”, you just look and sound like a 12 year old with their first AOL account. Grow up and speak the language you were taught using proper grammar… and complete words for that matter.

Regards,

Nicholas Alexander