The reality is that at the end of the day, we all know that electric hair dryers aren’t as functional as towels. We use them because we have to, lose patience standing there, and inevitably walk out to find ourselves face to face with a friend we haven’t seen in a while; which leads to the awkward damp handshake where the receiving party wonders if you did in fact wash your hands, or if instead you simply peed on them.

See, they're worthless...this "motivational poster" isn't even that funny

Regardless of your thoughts about the matter, this post isn’t about electric hair dryers, but rather their placement within the restroom. I recently saw a movie at a local theater and like everyone else, I made a b-line (what does that actually mean anyway?) towards the restroom. Upon arrival, I used the proper mensroom etiquette, took care of business, washed my hands like any remotely classy person would do, and then turned to look for a method with which to dry them.

The theater had installed Xlerator hand dryers about 2 feet above the floor, rather than the typical height of about 4 feet (That’s about 1.2 Meters for those of you using the sensible system of measurement). This made them difficult to use for anyone over the age of 6. I know that many 6-year-olds are potty trained and consequently capable of using the restroom like the rest of us; HOWEVER, I doubt they get more than $10/week in allowance, so they can’t possibly be the theater’s target clientele.

There were 3 dryers in the men’s room, all of which were mounted at a height of approximately two feet. I’m not sure if this was a brilliant idea masterminded by the theater’s management or if it resulted at the hands of a moronic tradesman who meant to mount one at infant level and the rest at a height usable by the rest of us.

I tried my best to use it, but 2 minutes later both my patience and my lower back were gone, so I threw in the towel (pardon the pun) and dried my hands on my pants.

On that note, I am promising at least 3 updates a week from here on out, but I need your help! Everyone bitches about something on a daily basis, so if you have something humorous to bitch about, please create an account and write a post. In exchange we’ll be happy to throw in a plug for your site, stroke your ego, and/or proclaim your glory

Back on Task: the LV Lizard is hilarious, sharing true stories of sex, cars, strippers, and guns. Last night he posted a picture he took of the things he is planning to take on an upcoming trip to LA, that picture is this week’s Foto Friday:

Now it’s your turn to bitch, so post a comment!

This week we have a truly epic Foto Friday post on our hands. This submission was spotted on a freezing cold night parked in a parking garage in Chicago’s Theater District. Unfortunately for its owner, this VW doesn’t have a heated steering wheel. Please remember to submit your pictures for consideration to FotoFriday@ListenToMeBitch.com and of course don’t forget to comment below!

Click here for more pictures –>

Have a picture worthy of Foto Friday? Email it to us at FotoFriday@ListenToMeBitch.com, if we use it we’ll be happy to link to you! Submissions will be posted beginning next week (because I’ll actually have my $h!t together by then…I think)

The Fotos below were taken at a Ski Resort in Wisconsin a couple of weeks ago (yea that’s right, us Midwesterners ski where we can) of a motorcycle parked on a snow hill complete with ski rack. As awesome as it is, I was left thinking WTF?

Don’t forget to comment!

Well now we have the answer, less than 24 hours after Blago was impeached, my buddy Pun managed to grab this pic on I-355 on his way to lunch:

Bye Bye Blago!

These are in no particular order unless otherwise mentioned:

1. Don’t ever assume anything about the customer’s financial situation

Once you start thinking about the customer’s financial situation you begin to make invalid assumptions. Yea the customer may have shown up in worn jeans and a tank top, but that doesn’t mean he can’t afford a new BMW. In fact it may mean that he’s a high-powered executive who takes advantage of not having to wear a suit 2 days a week. When you treat a customer like they can’t afford something, you’re losing the sale because your customer is headed up the road to the next dealer where he or she will receive the treatment he or she deserves.

2. List the options on the car

When dealers don’t list all the information about the car, there is one of three reasons behind it. First, the car may have just gotten there and the dealer themselves may not have the information sorted (if the car appeared on the site you’re looking at within the last 7 days, this is possible). The second option is that the dealer simply doesn’t have any idea what options are on the car. The third and final reason is my favorite: the dealer did it on purpose. What? Why? Well it’s simple, you don’t have access to the information, so now you have to contact them to find out; it’s a sales tactic. When you contact them they gain valuable information: that John Doe is shopping specifically for a Hyundai Santa Fe in addition to your phone number and/or email address which they can use to harass reach you. The biggest issue with this in my experience is generally when you call the dealer, the guy who answers the phone will have no knowledge of the car you call about. Which leads me to my next two points.

3. Options are Optional

When a customer asks about the options on the car, lets say a MINI Cooper for example, and you respond to them by listing standard equipment (or list only standard equipment in your ad), you’re just wasting everyone’s time. When the ad lists power windows, power door locks, power mirrors, and front airbags you only aggravate the customer because although those may have been options on cars in 1985, or even on some lower priced models now, they’re standard equipment on all MINIs from 2002 onward, and if it’s standard it wasn’t an option! Also, stop listing information about your dealer in the options field in your ads — believe it or not I’m looking to buy the car, not the dealer.

3. When a customer emails you a question about a car you’re selling, respond to that email instead of calling them back; chances are they emailed you for a reason.

The contact email address is generally just as accessible as the phone number; so If a customer chooses to email you there’s a reason behind it. Recently while in the market for a car I emailed several dealers, each of them responded back to me by phone. Why? because it’s easier to sell to someone by phone than by email. Here’s the problem: I emailed 20 dealers specific questions about the car they were selling. When they called me back at 9:00 the next day while I was on my way to the office, or at 11 when I was in a meeting with a client, or at 3 when I was racing to get a hold of my broker before the end of trading for the day; not only did I not have time to talk to them, but I also didn’t have any idea what the questions I asked about their specific vehicle were.

Email makes it easy to keep track of the conversation, but they insisted on calling. The problem is each time they would say hi this is John Doe from John Doe Imports calling in response to your email, please let me know if you have any questions I can answer for you. I ALREADY DID! I also got an average of 4 follow up emails from each dealer; some personalized, others automated. Each of the follow up emails said pretty much verbatim “if you have any other questions or concerns please let me know, I’d love to answer them for you” I already asked my questions, you didn’t answer them any of the 5 times you’ve contacted me, I don’t remember what they were, and you’ve blown the sale.

If you want to use the phone, first respond to my email and answer my questions. Once you’ve responded give it a day then call to follow up. “Hi this is John Doe calling from John Doe Honda, I was calling to follow up on the response I sent to your email. Did  your receive it? Are there any other questions I can answer for you about our 2005 Honda Accord? When can you come by and take it for a test drive?

4. Dealers contact the customer to the extent of annoyance

This should perhaps be 3.5 rather than 4, but I think it’s important enough to stress it as it’s own bullet point. If the customer does not respond within your first few attempts at contacting him or her, the customer doesn’t want to talk to you, likely for one of three reasons: the customer is very busy (in which case you’re annoying them already), they purchased another vehicle, or you’ve already blown the sale (likely because of something on this list).

Also, don’t EVER contact the customer using information they didn’t give you. A friend of mine sent a question to a seller through ebay about a car he was thinking about buying for his wife. The seller decided to call him rather than respond to his email so he looked up my buddy’s ebay account details (which were not provided to him by my friend) and called the listed number, which happened to be his home (as is true in most cases). So his wife got home from the grocery store, played the messages, and heard “Hi Bill, this is John Doe calling from Stupid MINI Dealer about the yellow Cooper you emailed us about on ebay”…so much for the suprise, not to mention the fact that Bill felt like his privacy was violated.

5. You better know more about the car you’re selling than your customer does

In sales, if you don’t know more about the product you’re selling than your customer does you appear to be incompetent. Additionally, you are very likely to aggravate your customer because you won’t know the answer to his or her questions. This leads to a secondary annoyance of one of the following: either the salesperson has to go and ask somebody else then report back to the customer or the salesperson will make stuff up.

In the first situation, the salesperson should cut the knowledgeable person into the conversation (splitting the commission if necessary) rather than continuing as the annoying middle man and losing the sale. The second situation is a no-brainer: we’ve already established in this situation that the customer knows more than you, and unfortunately he already walked in the door assuming the false stereotype that you’re a liar so the last thing you want to do is prove that to be correct.

New this week is the Foto Friday email address. If you have a photo you’ve taken that you’d like featured on Foto Friday, please email it to us at FotoFriday@ListenToMeBitch.com Additionally, I’d like to remind everyone that if you’d like to become a contributor here at Listen To Me Bitch, or even make a guest post, check out this information about posting on Listen To Me Bitch.

Now, here’s this week’s photo, straight out of my freezer:

NEW YORK, the original TEXAS toast! Come on marketing, think about it

]]> http://www.listentomebitch.com/foto-friday-3/feed/ 13 http://www.listentomebitch.com/barack-obama-is-not-your-messiah/ http://www.listentomebitch.com/barack-obama-is-not-your-messiah/#comments Sun, 18 Jan 2009 02:59:27 +0000 Nicholas Alexander http://www.listentomebitch.com/?p=294 *Disclaimer* This is not a political post, it doesn’t take stance with any political issues and isn’t at all intended to be partisan toward democrats or republicans.

Like a lot of people, I sincerely hope that the most powerful man in the world-elect is a good president, because that’s what America needs. However, I have a very realistic concept of how much one person (and his team) can fix, despite the power they may have. I’ve met an extraordinary number of people who seem to think that his election to the presidency is on par with the second coming of Christ if you believe in that…this isn’t a religious post either, and that we will all be ‘saved’ by his presence in the oval office.I hate to break it to you, but the last administration proved that it is much easier to muck things up than to fix them. Regardless of political standing, this country has more problems now than it did 8 years ago. The metaphor that I like to use is that of a little kid who can throw a fit, and completely trash his bedroom in 15 minutes (or less). Then the mother (or father for you politically correct fools) has to come in and may spend hours cleaning the place up and getting everything back to the way it was. This is the equivalent of the Bush vs. Obama administrations. There is no way, that in 4 years, they will be able to undo all that is wrong with the country today. The media has made this man out to be the solution,painting the picture that we will live in a Utopian society when it’s all said and done. No one can live up to that hype, not even Barack Obama.

So my bitching is this: Stop setting yourself up for disappointment. Be happy (if you’re a Barack fan) with the fact that we’re at least shifting power to a man that completes sentences most of the time. Don’t tell me that I’m a pessimistic moron for not thinking that all of my problems are magically going to vanish in 4 years. Do not tell me I am “Un-American” for writing this entry, I stand by my country despite its shortcomings at the moment, but our current President-Elect is not the only missing link in the chain.-Nick