As you may or may not already know, I really hate electric hand dryers because they don’t work. Yea, I know somebody is going to come in here and talk about those new Xlerator dryers that are so much better than the World Dryers of the past; but the reality is that an improvement upon garbage does not make it good…only better than completely useless. I also know that Kaylie Bristol is going to drop by and tell me how much she loves electric hair dryers because they warm her up just like heated seats…or some such BS.

The reality is that at the end of the day, we all know that electric hair dryers aren’t as functional as towels. We use them because we have to, lose patience standing there, and inevitably walk out to find ourselves face to face with a friend we haven’t seen in a while; which leads to the awkward damp handshake where the receiving party wonders if you did in fact wash your hands, or if instead you simply peed on them.

See, they're worthless...this "motivational poster" isn't even that funny

Regardless of your thoughts about the matter, this post isn’t about electric hair dryers, but rather their placement within the restroom. I recently saw a movie at a local theater and like everyone else, I made a b-line (what does that actually mean anyway?) towards the restroom. Upon arrival, I used the proper mensroom etiquette, took care of business, washed my hands like any remotely classy person would do, and then turned to look for a method with which to dry them.

The theater had installed Xlerator hand dryers about 2 feet above the floor, rather than the typical height of about 4 feet (That’s about 1.2 Meters for those of you using the sensible system of measurement). This made them difficult to use for anyone over the age of 6. I know that many 6-year-olds are potty trained and consequently capable of using the restroom like the rest of us; HOWEVER, I doubt they get more than $10/week in allowance, so they can’t possibly be the theater’s target clientele.

There were 3 dryers in the men’s room, all of which were mounted at a height of approximately two feet. I’m not sure if this was a brilliant idea masterminded by the theater’s management or if it resulted at the hands of a moronic tradesman who meant to mount one at infant level and the rest at a height usable by the rest of us.

I tried my best to use it, but 2 minutes later both my patience and my lower back were gone, so I threw in the towel (pardon the pun) and dried my hands on my pants.

As you may remember from Foto Friday #1, #2, and #3, the concept here is pretty simple: we post a pic and leave the bitching up to you. Here’s today’s pic, don’t forget to comment and submit your Foto Friday pics to FotoFriday@listentomebitch.com for consideration. 

Even after reading Jason’s so-so Quantum of Solace Review I had to go and see it. I agree with pretty much everything posted in both the review and the comments, and like everyone else thought it was worth seeing, but certainly not the greatest Bond film.

I’m not here to talk about the movie, I’m here to talk about the horrendous act that occurred following it. At the conclusion of this film, like many films before it, the audience began to applaud. This is absolutely unacceptable and should not be tolerated by society.

I have nothing against applause, when people are showing their approval or appreciation for a performance. Be it a speech, presentation, play, musical, or even simply to recognize someone’s outstanding behavior. What I have a problem with is the fact that when you go see a movie the performers aren’t present, they’re more than likely 1,000’s of miles away, completely unaware of your applause or even your existence.

Are these people applauding for the screen? Which did such an amazing job remaining on the wall for the entire movie? Perhaps they’re applauding for the projectionist who did such an exemplary job, even though  chances are she was doing her homework the whole time, was up there making out with the popcorn guy (or girl), or just plain fell asleep two hours ago? There is nobody there, don’t applaud! Just walk out of the theatre and start looking for the people who didn’t understand the movie, or sit in your seat and awkwardly watch the credits.

In summary: only applaud when the performer is actually present to experience the appreciation you’re expressing.

Un Saludo,

Juan Luis

Friday night I went to see the new James Bond Movie: Quantum of Solace. I enjoyed it, but while walking out of the theatre I realized that there is something fundamentally wrong with this movie.

During the “golden days” of Bond, James was a talented spy who would take on multiple men at a time using slightly exaggerated gadgets, come out on top, and then have sex with one or two of his female co-stars. A bit outlandish? Sure, but not completely unrealistic as demonstrated in this 1964 trailer to Goldfinger starring Sean Connery:

The problem I have with the newest bond film, Quantum of Solace, isn’t that it was a bad flick, but rather that all of a sudden Bond magically has superhero skills. Unlike Superman, The Hulk, or even (my personal favorite) the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Bond has always been an everyday man, and I feel that’s how the character should remain. Even in the 2008 trailer for Quantum of Solace below, it can be seen that bond lives through things that would be impossible for any mere mortal to endure:

Bring back the old bond: the gadgets, the girls, and the cars; save the Superman survival abilities for someone else…you know, like SUPERMAN.

Entertained but Disappointed,
L’Monaco